Tina and Gary have a marriage that worked wonderfully because they always checked with each other before doing anything important, and because each got what they wanted by making deals with the other. Deals about vacation - she chose the beach this year because he chose the mountains last year. Deals about going out - she chose the restaurant because he chose the movie. And deals when it came to sex.
For example, Tina wanted him to dress up as a priest, and in return he had her dress up as a cheerleader. She wanted to pretend to be a prostitute at a bar. He said that was ok so long as he got to pretend to be a cop arresting her. He wanted to wear her bra and panties in bed, and she said that in return she wanted him to dress in a wig and makeup so that he looked completely like a woman.
But when Gary asked to bring another woman into bed, Tina proposed a deal that he could not accept. "If we bring another woman into bed, then another time we'll bring another man into bed with us. OK?"
To this Gary said "No deal." He then tried to reason with her. "But you said that you often fantasize about making love to a women, while I am sure I would hate even touching a man. You have often said that if we weren't married you would be bisexual. So we would both like making love to a woman, while I would be repulsed by another man. So let's just do the woman."
Tina replied: "You certainly are right that I would love bringing a woman into bed. But I would like it if we also, another time, brought a man to our bed. I do understand that you would hate having another man in our bed. But the question for you is -- would you hate being in bed with a man more than you would love being in bed with me and another woman? That is for you to decide. You might or might not value the pleasure of having a woman share our bed more than you would hate having a man share it. Isn't there really only one way to find out for sure? It's up to you. When 2 people make a deal, by definition both of them win. But sometimes one will win more." To this Gary said, "No man, no deal."
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